Recovery Warrior Thursdays
*Real Women Telling their Real Stories in 12…. Questions (not Steps)

Hello recovery warriors (I call you all recovery warriors because if you are reading this blog you are taking the first step), welcome to Recovery Connections weekly feature where REAL women can tell their stories to other REAL women so we can find a REAL solution to this REAL problem.

I am so grateful to able to meet women in different stages of their recovery. Meet warrior Stephanie Haycraft-Burnett who just celebrated her 2 year anniversary on Monday. YAY!!!!

- The Sobriety Diva

1. Name:

Stephanie Haycraft-Burnett

2.Age:

29

3.How long have you been sober?

2 years on March 15th

4. What are you recovering from?

Pills (Hydrocodone, Adderall, Valium, Xanax) and Methamphetimine.

5. When did you cross over into addiction?

In 2005. I had gall bladder problems (of course, at the time I didn’t know what was causing the pain and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor). I took anything that would make the pain stop. I took enough to make the pain stop. I had no idea that the medication would irritate the problem, so I just took more and more to keep me from doubling over. I was working 48-50 hours a week, but didn’t have health insurance yet. When I did eventually get insurance (later that year) they ran test after test. It wasn’t something cut and dry like gall stones, so they had a hard time determining the problem. They wouldn’t prescribe pain killers, so I bought them “off the street.” After a year of tests, they finally decided to take out my gall bladder. By that time I had been taking a handful pills a day. I thought after the surgery I wouldn’t need them anymore. Of course, that just wasn’t the case.

6. What was the breaking point that finally made you accept your addiction?

Looking back, I think I had accepted it long before I did anything about it. I knew it was there, I just didn’t want to do anything about it. It scared me to death to even think about abandoning my habit. In 2007 I lost my job and left my husband. I used a lot of excuses as to why I left him, but in the end, it’s because he didn’t condone my behavior. Within a year, I was in jail. I remember telling my son that I was going to have to go to jail. He was 7. He looked at me through tear filled eyes and said “Mama, our family is falling apart.” That brings tears to my eyes to this very day. I would love to be able to tell you that was my breaking point. I wish it was. I spent 40 days in jail. It would have been a lot worse, but the grand jury went easy on me. I could have easily gotten 15 years. Easily. While I was in jail, my partner got addicted to meth. I could tell something was different with her, but I didn’t know exactly what. When I got out, I tried it. I didn’t think one time would be a big deal, but it was. She went to jail shortly thereafter and that’s when I realized. Something had to give. I had to stop. Not for me, but for my son. He was the reason everything changed.

7. Did you make the first step alone or did you have help from your family, from your religious organization or other intervention?

I took the first step. I live in a small town and I didn’t even consider steps or meetings. I was so ashamed by this point. I had gone from a wonderful job and the perfect family to having no running water and a completely alienated family.

8. What road did you travel? Did you go in-patient treatment, detox, AA, or another option?

I wish I had. It would have probably been so much easier. I picked myself up. I felt like I was the weakest person I knew. I didn’t think I could do it, but I did. I got back in touch with my husband and he was my main support system. To this day I don’t know what I would have done without him. He was my rock.

9. When you first get into recovery, they tell you you have to change people, places and things. What changes did you have to make on your journey?

The people changed themselves after my partner went to jail. They stopped coming around. Of course, I could have called them and they would have been right there, but I think it was a blessing in disguise. I had no phone, so getting in touch with them would have been difficult, another blessing. I had to change my way of thinking to make the journey. I had to tell myself every single minute for weeks that I can do this, I am stronger than the drugs. I am better than the drugs.

10. How do you maintain your sobriety today?

Prayer. Lots of prayer. I have an awesome church and every single person there has contributed to my maintenance. It’s amazing how much a kind word or a hug can help you through a moment of weakness. My husband is also a huge support. He is always ready to hear about how things were (and I talk about it at least once a week). My Mom is always there to listen too. I thank God every single day for these people. They have no idea how they have made this journey possible for me. Honestly, what it comes down to, is I remember. I believe if I forget the past, I am doomed to repeat it. I will never forget the hell I went through because of addiction and I will never, ever go back to that life.

11. What words of empowerment would you give to women who have not made that first step yet?

Never underestimate the power of yourself. You may feel weak, but you’re not. You have more power in your pinky than any drug. Talk to someone, don’t try to do it alone. I know it’s hard because you’ve made life difficult for so many people, but reach out. Find a sponsor and above all, pray. Find God and you will find freedom.

12. Last one – I wouldn’t be the Sobriety DIVA if I didn’t ask it. Great pair of shoes or Fab handbag?

Gotta have my flip flops!! Lord knows I’ve left the baggage behind

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…