Don’t get into a relationship for a while, wait a year to get romantically involved, you are not emotionally ready, you need to concentrate on your recovery for now.  These are all things I would hear in the first year of my recovery and unfortunately I did not listen.

For the first six months of my sobriety I was firing on all cylinders doing whatever my sponsor told me to and listening to all those that had more sobriety then me.  I was working the twelve steps, going to meetings every day, enjoying the fellowship… Everything that is suggested during early recovery.  Then I met a girl.  During the beginning of my relationship I was doing okay at keeping a balance between my recovery and my relationship. Eventually that was not the case.

Slowly but surely all my concentration was focused on my relationship.  My happiness was completely dependent upon on the dynamics of my relationship.  When things were good I was good and on the contrary when they were bad so was I.

Eventually the relationship ended and I was completely loss.  The fellowship that I had with other men in the program was gone.  I had not been going to meetings and staying sober so I didn’t think that that was the answer.  I had stopped working the steps and therefore did not have a sponsor whom I could call.  My story is no different then anyone else who did what I did.  I eventually relapsed and my drug addiction went to a level it has never been before.  I now understand what is meant by the progression of the disease.  I went into a tailspin that I never thought possible.

After a relapse that lasted nearly two years and another trip to addiction treatment I am able to look back and see the importance of staying out of relationships in early recovery.  It is a complete distraction from what the task at hand is supposed to be.  Drug addiction is a serious matter that needs an individuals undivided attention when trying to get clean and sober.  Besides, in early recovery who is really emotionally stable enough to handle a break up and stay sober.  Speaking from personal experience my advice is to stay out of relationships for at least a year.  When my relationship ended it proved to be nearly fatal.