For many of us who know and love someone who is alcoholic, drug addict or suffering from an eating disorder know how hard it is to say ‘”NO.” The disease of addiction is so powerful it takes everyone around the individual addicted and makes them part of the illusion to make everything okay. Parents go to any length to protect their child from the consequences of the behaviors that alcohol, drug abuse and eating disorders have caused.

Whether it is from guilt, shame or remorse by doing things for him or her that they need to be doing for themselves is called “enabling.” Everyone has an idea of how life is supposed to be, based on what we saw our parents do or not do. This is also why an alcoholic, drug addict or someone with an eating disorder manipulates that closet to them. The buttons to push to make us do what they want, they have seen so much that they know what to say and do to make us jump.

We don’t say “no” because we are afraid we won’t be liked. The problem with this if we don’t say no, we stop liking ourselves and this includes the very people we are trying to please. Anger and resentment becomes a way of life. It helps to make changes and start saying “no” when he or she realizes that by doing things for people in addiction we are helping to kill them. We don’t have to give explanations for our decision to say no. When the alcoholic, drug addict or person with an eating disorder has had enough then treatment program is available to help.